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. he wants to have sex with you. Do you know what that means?" What! Daddy, do something! I know what sex is. And I know what rape is! Daddy, don't let him do it!" Oh, Aubrey, I wish I could stop him. But he's made it very clear: if we cooperate, we live. If we don't, we die."The intruder, not having spoken yet in Aubrey's presence, waved the gun around as if to emphasize the point I was making on his behalf."Daddy, I've never even had sex. Doesn't it hurt? Won't I get pregnant? Daddy, I'm afraid." Oh, Sweetheart, I wish there was something else we could do, but there isn't. Yes, it might hurt a bit the first time, but not too badly if you relax and don't fight it. And it does feel better later — otherwise no one would have sex, right?" She nodded slightly. "Honey, doin't get me wrong, it is really awful that you have to deal with this at all, and you are way too young, but you're going to be all right, OK?"She nodded, nervously, her eyes darting back and forth from me to the silent. You imagined yourself living on the farm for the rest of your life. But you did not know how that would happen. There are moments you dream about restoring the farm. Leading the family. But a part of you wants to follow someone who could fix everything and make life easy for you. You were uncertain, and wished you had a male role model your trusted in your life to ask.Between your moms "job" as a surrogate, keeping her occupied, and your father and grandparents death in your early childhood you never learned. Not how to fix plumbing or the Air conditioner, drive a tractor, or how to hit on girls, kiss and take a hint. And since both the plumbing and the A/C was out you were sweltering in the heat, going to an outdoor toilet. There you often beat your meat, since you had no luck getting laid. Since your graduation from high school (C's get degrees!) your mom had become a far more common fantasy. Nut you supposed that your isolated living on the farm led to this. There were no pretty.
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